Chapter 5

Let’s be real.

By NO means am I perfect. I don’t always do the “right thing” I don’t always make the perfect choices. Yes I have made mistakes. Yes I have a heart. And I do regret the chances I didn’t take. Being who I am brought me to where I stand today. No it wasn’t easy and ya I fucking cried... ALOT.

I don’t talk about things meaning I’m totally exempt from them. I will be the first to tell you about the mistakes I have made.

I slam doors.

I get mad.

I apologize.

Sometimes I get really sad.

And I curl up in a bawl and hide under the covers.

Because I’m NOT perfect.

But let me make it clear I have never claimed to be.

 

 

At one time I thought being “the girl who owns the Pink Store” would be an exciting thing.

In truth, I’m so scared - it makes me sooo nervous to show my face in public most days. Because I’m not judged as just another member of the community anymore. It seems that every mistake I make is seen, told and documented. I literally could slip on the ice outside the hockey rink on a Saturday and will be asked by my Monday client if I’m okay from hitting the ditch last Tuesday ? Because gossip isn’t always the most reliable source. (Can I get an AMEN?)

Sort of a sweet/concerning gesture from my client, yes - in all reality though I’m 25 shades of red and totally embarrassed she knows something happened to me. Anything even.

Is this a mistake I made? - no. But proof that most actions I make will probably be noticed by someone, who tells someone, who tells so and so. And so on.

 

OMG the anxiety I have drinking an alcoholic beverage outside my home is atrocious. (Did you see that... Total alcoholic that girl is, she had TWO drinks at supper tonight...)

 

Let’s not get started on raising a child in public either. (So I saw that girl who runs the Pink Store last week and she had her daughter in a light sweater. Yes, a light sweater. It was 10 degrees outside and cloudy. The horror.)

 

I just want to be totally clear. I don’t want my blog at all to come across rude, shady or like I am calling any one individual out. Because I’m not.

 

This is literally the raw-ness of my life. The life of a business owner who suffers from major anxiety and can never seem to get “it” right.

 

We don’t grow when things are easy,

we grow when we face challenges.

-picturequotes.com

 


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